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How Does Self Esteem Affect A Person?

Self-esteem is something probably everyone wants and which everyone definitely needs. We want self-esteem because it increases our chance of finding happiness in life and makes it possible to cope with life's disappointments and changes.

We need self-esteem because nothing is as important to psychological well-being. Our level of self-esteem affects virtually everything we think, say and do. It affects how we see the world and our place in it. It affects how others in the world see and treat us. It affects the choices we make - choices about what we will do with our lives and with whom we will be involved. It affects our ability to both give and receive love. And it affects our ability to take action to change things that need to be changed.

If a man or a woman has an insufficient amount of self-esteem, they will not be able to act in their own best interest. And if a person has no self-esteem at all, he will become overwhelmed, immobile and eventually will give up.

We all know the many familiar problems that are caused by low self-esteem. Now what is the solution? How do we a obtain a positive self-image? It is by no means simple, but it can be accomplished.

The first step is accepting the possibility that our self-concept is invalid. Otherwise there is no possibility of any change. We have no motivation to make a self-assessment if we already know ourselves. Furthermore, why would we bother to search through a pile of rubble if we are convinced it contains nothing of value? We must have reason to believe that there is something of value to be found in order to make the effort. It is not easy to shed convictions about one's self-image. If it is correct that the negative self-image begins in childhood, then a person who begins a self-assessment in middle age must be ready to let go of ideas that he or she has harbored for forty or more years. There is great resistance in relinquishing ideas that have been deeply entrenched for so long.

The second step is to make lifestyle changes that promote a more positive self-image, and there may be fierce resistance to this. We are creatures of habit, and most of us are reluctant to change established patterns. It can be extremely distressful to alter significant behaviors. The tendency to return to a familiar, well-established pattern because it is more comfortable often inhibits the drive to develop an altered self-image.

The third step is to be extremely patient. A self-image that has prevailed for the greater part of our life is not going to be replaced quickly. Changes in self concept are gradual and come in small increments. Relapses into the old self concept are frequent. It may take years before there are substantive changes in self-image. If these three conditions are satisfied, we can begin a self-assessment. Doing this alone may be of limited value. We have been looking at ourselves through distorting lenses and are not likely to see anything different if we look again. Nevertheless, some progress may be made, and there is no harm in trying to do it on our own.

Conveying Confidence & Magnetism Through Body Movements

When used in combination, the head, face, and eyes provide the clearest indication of attitudes toward other people. Because of this fact, the head, face, and eyes are important in expressing confidence and projecting magnetism. For the man or women with low self-esteem, it will prove beneficial to learn to project yourself in a more confident manner, which in turns makes you feel more confident about yourself.

Moving your head, face, and eyes toward another person makes you appear more magnetic. As is well known, messages accompanied by eye contact are more favorably interpreted by receivers than are messages sent without eye contact. Less well known is the fact that eye contact alone may improve the sending of messages but it is not necessarily a major contributor to magnetism. Warm, friendly eye contact is the best for magnetism.

Creating warm eye contact is no easy task. To improve this subtle dimension of nonverbal behavior, make a videotape of somebody on television who maintains warm eye contact. Study the person's glance several times. To practice the person's warm eye contact, first visualize the expression in the person's eyes, then attempt to emulate it. The eye contact may appear warm in part because it is accompanied by a smile.

Posture

Posture also communicates a message, and contributes to or detracts from magnetism. Leaning toward another individual suggests that you are favorably disposed toward the person and to what he or she has to say. Leaning backward indicates the opposite. Openness of the arms or legs serves as an indicator of liking or caring, which in turn may contribute to magnetism. In general, people maintain closed postures (arms folded and legs crossed) when speaking to people they dislike.

The magnetic individual severely restricts communicating dislike unless it is strategically advisable to do so, for instance, when intimidating an enemy. Standing up straight (assuming a person is able-bodied) generally reflects high self-confidence and magnetism. Personally magnetic people rarely stoop or slouch when interacting with others. Shrugging the shoulders is another aspect of posture that can contribute to magnetism. Accompanied by a warm facial expression, a shrug will often be interpreted as "I'm not entirely convinced, but why not give your idea a try?" The “shrugger” is therefore giving the other individual some encouragement. A subtle indicator of the potential contribution of posture to magnetism is that people tend to overestimate the height of people they perceive to be magnetic. This positive distortion is usually of the magnitude of two inches. A physical factor contributing to this perception is that magnetic people typically stand up straight, thus appearing approximately two inches taller than their slouching counterparts.