It is safe to assume that the person you are thinking about marrying is a person that has decent moral character and sound mental health. Of course the size of the ballpark of decent character and mental health is a large one, and almost all of us, even with our own personal flaws and issues, fits into it. But not all of us fit into this area of sound mental health and ethical decency. Some people have characteristics that would make them a bad match for anybody.

As an obvious example: Men who are violent towards their partners are of course, bad news. No person should be involved in a relationship, especially a marriage, with a man that is violent towards them. Ironically enough, many women are married to these men. Why they did not see the warning signs is unknown to me, but on the other hand, many women that are in these types of violent relationships did see the warning signs, but chose to ignore them. Ignorance truly is bliss in certain situations and people can be enormously creative in finding ways to rationalize sticking with people who are obviously bad news in terms of a loving relationship or a marriage.

How and why can people actually rationalize being with these “bad news” partners? Often people stick with the relationship because many times it feels good to be with somebody who is not good for them. As odd as that sounds, it is a reality, especially for many women. Men who tend to have a violent side within them are actually very charming in many cases. And there are bad partners out there who can be very close to you on many compatibility levels, despite being abusive on another level. This “bad news” partner seems like a good match, and your love is real, and if it weren't for the fact that this person is violent, you both could have a great marriage.

But bad news, in a negative way, is sort of like a flush in poker. In other words, it “beats anything”. If your partner is abusive in any way, violent, or treats you in a demeaning fashion, then it doesn't matter how great you feel when you are with them. It doesn't even matter how compatible you are with this person. They are and always will be somebody whom you should not marry, let alone be dating!


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