Is your marriage burning out? 3 Ways in which you can take responsibility

Has your marriage turned into a daily ritual of heated arguments, battling back and forth over silly arguments? These negative communication problems that happen between you and your partner can have a very bad effect on what happens inside of the relationship. Marriages like this are on a one-track road to total burnout, which invariably ends in total misery and/or divorce. A mere simmering bitterness can also significantly erode intimacy. Think about reinforcing your own marriage and read the following misconceptions to which many people still subscribe to. Are any of these causing your relationship to burnout?

1. “I have so much more to do around the house and outside of the house than my partner does.” There is nothing worse than competing with your special other when it comes to a marriage. When you compare who does more, who is more tired, who makes more money, etc. then all you are doing is exhausting the relationship. A marriage is not meant to be a marathon. Both of you deserve and need a break, so why not work together on finding ways to support each other?

2. “When I am angry with my partner, I make sure to tell them so, immediately.” Words are perceived more on how it is said, rather than what is said. We teach our children to count to ten before saying something if they are angry, so it is worth practicing your thoughts in the same manner. Ask yourself this question: Is this really that big of a deal to me, enough to make me say something upsetting to my partner? It is human nature to respond back our anxiety in response to feeling stressed, but that anxiety is generally over something too minuscule to really matter once we really think about it. Almost all of the time, it isn't even worth bickering about. Instead of getting bent out of shape over something, try to put life's little bumps into perspective by thinking first before you speak.

3. “I just can't help getting angry, that's just who I am.” There is a fine line between being an individual who stands up for their personality, and making excuses for poor social skills, especially when you are in a relationship. Just because you have always reacted in a certain way, being it with anger, does not mean that you are doomed forever to be that same person. Do not be a cop-out with working on your self improvement. It will not be easy, and it takes practice, but just because you were always the same in certain areas of your life it doesn't mean that you cannot change. This involves taking responsibility for your actions and not blaming on how you were raised, or how you have “always been”, etc. Follow that responsibility up with change.


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