Home

Traditional marriages vs. equal marriages: What is the difference?

There is little doubt that you have heard the term “traditional marriage” usually spoken by your parents or their friends. While a traditional marriage may mean something different to each person, the general sense of the term is when one party usually works to support the family (typically the man) and the other party stays at home, cleans, and takes care of the children (typically the women). But in today's world we have less of a “traditional” marriage and more of an “equal” marriage.

What is an equal marriage? Equal marriage is not exactly the opposite of traditional marriage, but it is indeed very different. Both partners work outside of the home and expect each other to put in an equal amount of energy when it comes to the house and the children. In equal marriages all of the money is considered to be “our money”. Both partners have the same control over the funds, even if they have separate checking accounts. From one month to another either person may be contributing more than the other in taking care of expenses, but there is no tab being kept and nothing owed from one to another. Who pays more doesn't make a difference, because the money is entirely “our money”, as stated above.

All decisions on what items to buy, how much is to be spent, and when to purchase them are all mutual decisions, with the husband and wife both holding equal power to make them. Decisions on how much debt to carry is also mutual. Both the husband and wife are free to buy all of the little things they wish, but neither would buy a larger-size item (a larger and more expensive purchase) without discussing it with each other.

Money isn't the only thing that is considered equal. Household chores and related items are also equal. It can be divided in any way, and how it is divided may be changed over time, but whichever way the split goes, neither partner feels like they are doing more than the other. However, there are often conflicts that do come along, about who is doing more in terms of “quality”.

When it is time for children to come along, neither the husband or the wife automatically gets the role of primary caretaker. Since neither partner's job is considered more important than the other's (in most cases) then each of them is expected to change whatever is necessary with their work schedules to contribute the best way possible. However, it is not uncommon for these decisions to be hard to make. Even in a marriage that has their roles well established, it can be hard to determine who is to cut back on what, when it comes to tending to the children.