Monitor your language. Listen to the way you respond to questions and situations. Make a conscious effort to develop a positive charge. You will find that people respond more eagerly to you.

Do you know people who tell you their whole life story even if you don't ask? Well I hitched a ride with a friend the other day and as soon as we got into the car, she launched into a negative conversation about how much she hated her job. She despises it. I know. She told me and told me and told me and told me! Well, she was giving me a ride, and I couldn't very well tell her to be quiet in her own car. So I listened.

She went on and on about this job and how bad it was, and finally I interrupted. "If it's that stressful and if it is causing you that much pain, why don't you just quit and do something else?" She replied by saying something that put her in the chorus line with a lot of other people going nowhere in their lives. "I would, but ..."

Sound familiar? It did to me, so I began testing a theory on other people. I went around for several days asking people what they were doing for a living and if it was their passion in life to do that. If they said their work was not their passion, I asked what their real passion was and why they were not doing it. Invariably, they would reply, "Oh, I would, but . . ."

The "buts" just kept coming up. How many times have you heard one of those words or phrases used as an excuse? How many times have you heard them come out of your own mouth? Too often, we repeat negatively charged words as if we are in a trance, and, in a sense, when we use them we are sleepwalking through life. We seem to be instinctively adept at finding excuses for canceling our own dreams. I think "but" and words like it are dream killers. I think many of us would accomplish more in our lives if we put "but" and his family to rest and plunged into life.

"But" is a crutch; it is an excuse for procrastinators and those of us who lack the courage to live our dreams. It allows us to validate our inaction. When hard times hit, we need to look for reasons to move forward, not for reasons to idle through life.

When you don't move on life, life moves on you. It is important for you to learn to monitor your language because by listening to yourself and changing your language, you can change your attitude from negative to positive.


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