As a leadership motivator, several years ago a CEO whose company had suffered a year without any growth in sales asked if I could do something special for the annual national sales meeting. I suggested that he promise his people that we would provide the finest sales training program in the world. And what is the finest sales training program in the world? Ask questions and then listen.

We spent half a day during the conference on an approach called “consultative selling.” The salesperson helps clarify the prospect's needs by asking questions and observes how to best serve the prospect. The salesperson thus serves as a source of help rather than a pitch artist; the prospect gradually moves toward an agreement to buy; and the whole process reduces the risk of subsequent buyer's remorse. It later occurred to me that there is real power in the four words: ask questions and listen. It also occurred to me that the finest leadership training program in the world probably is: Ask questions and listen.

So, for the manager wondering how to develop a participative leadership style, my recommendation would be to ask questions and listen! This advice is a natural for any formal interview, whether it be an employment, coaching, or disciplinary session.

The most common mistake made during screening interviews is that the interviewer does too much talking and not enough listening. Similarly, during coaching interviews, supervisors often find themselves doing most of the talking. A more effective approach is to ask those being interviewed to discuss what they know, what they feel uncertain about, how they think progress can be made, etc. In a disciplinary session, a talkative supervisor risks being seen as not understanding the situation, not appreciating the employee's point of view, and making arbitrary judgments. The questioning approach reduces this risk substantially.

One of my most exhilarating professional experiences during the early stages of my career was a one-hour discussion with the man who headed Xerox Corporation during its early years of very rapid growth. This particular discussion was intended as a disciplinary session for me. I had been overly exuberant in a particular situation and the result was a minor embarrassment for several of our corporate officers. During our conversation, he asked a lot of questions, and he listened carefully. Through his efforts he guided both of us to higher levels of understanding. We both learned. I left his office feeling better about him than I ever had before. I knew in my own mind that I'd never let him down again. And because of the way he handled the situation, I still felt pretty good about myself .

In business or in private life, whether dealing with associates, friends, or family members, the most powerful guideline (per word) on how to motivate, inspire, guide, and otherwise interact with others almost certainly has to be: Ask questions and listen.


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